Every Year on the First of February
by cigarettesandlatte
Summary: Mello always changed in personality and surprised me somehow on my birthday, every year on the first of February. Happy birthday Mail 'Matt' Jeevas.


Yay! It's Mail 'Matt' Jeevas's birthday! I am following the anime time-line, so this day will fit with him turning **nineteen**! Since in the anime he was born on the first of February 1993; and he and Mello died the twenty-sixth of January 2013. We all love you Matty! Happy birthday! Enjoy dear readers:)!

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><p>Every year on the first of February, every year since I started at Wammy's, Mello had been acting different then he used to be.<p>

Every day I have spent with Mello was always the same; yelling, anger tantrums, hitting and screams. If I just as much as touched his things, or god forbid his chocolate! I would come to class the day after with a blue eye and ringing ears. After Mello left Wammy's and we met again after two years, he had quiet changed. He didn't hit me all the time, and he didn't throw his anger tantrums at me and the rest of his henchmen every time Near was ahead of him. No he had just found out that mental terror was more awarding and easier to do. He would call me names; tell me that I was nothing but a dog and that I was useless.

But I didn't care… because I love Mello. I always have and I _always_ will. Does Mello love me back? Yes I know he does. He just has more difficulty to show it to me than I have towards him.

So even though he treated me like a dog, _is _treating me like a dog, every single day since I met him. He still loved me; and it was especially on my birthdays that he showed it towards me.

I moved into Wammy's house when I was six years old. I had been in foster care and other orphanages since I was three years old, but after some weird test I took when I was five years old, only six months happened and an old man called Quillish Wammy who I then later figured out was in fact Watari, the great detective L's assistant. Though I never found out what L's real name was, he was just a single letter to me.

Wammy came up to me on my **eight** birthday and told me that I was to follow him to a place called Wammy's. The orphanage I was to grow up in, do my best and become one of L's successors. I would just never have believed that I was to become number three in the row.

I moved in on my birthday and I was asked what I else wanted for my birthday. I was pretty eager since I had never been granted choices of my own gifts at the other orphanages. I made a list that contained of; a Nintendo, a Gameboy, games for both of them, clothes that I could come out and shop for myself and some other things I don't really remember. All I remember is that, I actually got _all_ of that stuff. That was the best birthday that I ever had had, until then.

On my **ninth** birthday I was again asked what I wanted, I said the new version of the Nintendo and the games designed for that; again I was granted my choice. At that age I wasn't so creative when it came to new stuff.

But on my **tenth** birthday was when everything changed; my life, my point of view, my feelings, and last but not least… my _birthdays_. I was sitting in my room playing the new games I had gotten from Wammy's and suddenly in came a little blond haired boy; my Mello, my angel. He was not a typical blond haired boy. If you didn't knew better you would have believed he was a girl, but I had noticed that his chin was to sharp and his cheekbones were to obvious for him to be a girl, though we both only were ten years old, he was just that shaped and there was almost no puppy fat on him. I looked up and caught eye contact with the boy and I was drowning in those blue icy eyes of his, that I have fallen in love with. His blond hair was shaped in a nice bob with heavy bangs. His lips were thin and shaped in a grimace of disgust. I didn't know what had caused him to look so mad, but damn was he beautiful…

"H…hey I'm Matt, who are you"? I felt like such an idiot… the boy just sneered at me, walked over to the spare bed in my room and sat down. Five minutes of silence – "I'm Mello"… we didn't say another word for the rest of the day. All that stuff I had gotten from Wammy's I didn't consider as real gifts that day. My real gift was that Mello was now my roommate.

A year had gone by, and in that time I had learned that Mello was quite the handful. He would have anger tantrums. Yell at the other students and teachers. Didn't talk to anyone except yelling that included me _and_ he had night terrors. But on my **eleventh** birthday something in Mello changed.

"Happy birthday"… I had just gotten back from my IT class and since this time my birthday was on a Friday we had early off. Mello was sitting on the floor with his notebooks and English books. He wasn't looking at me, but I was still surprised that he knew of my birthday.

"H...how do you know it's my birthday"? He looked up at me and said - "I asked Roger and he told me, I just remembered it".

"But why did you ask him"? I knew I was pushing my limits. I knew that if you annoyed Mello with questions he would get mad. But he just smiled and answered - "because you are my best friend silly"? I swear my heart skipped a beat at that answer. I smiled and said – "thank you Mello". He knew that he also was my best friend, even though we barely talked or anything, but because I respected him. I just didn't always know when I was crossing the line. He smiled back at me, and we went back to as we used to be, silent, doing our own things but now we were defiantly _best_ friends.

Years had gone by and my **fifteenth** birthday was arriving. Over the years since my **eleventh** birthday Mello bought my several of things that I still precious to this day. I had gotten my much loved orange glassed goggles that all the Wammy's kids had noticed was worn by me at every single occasion from that day. When I asked Mello why he bought them to me he just said "because I like your eyes, and I don't think everyone should be allowed to see them so freely". I remember myself blushing like a tomato after those words were out of Mello's mouth. I would have expected of the silent Mello to be ashamed of himself after saying such cheesy words, but he just kept on doing what he always did, studying.

I had also received a lighter (okay, I started smoking, I know it's not good and Mello didn't approve of it, but he still gave me the most awesome Zippo lighter, though I still wonder till this day how he could get one of those at the age of **thirteen**)? A piece of chocolate suddenly also came for my **twelfth **birthday and that was probably the biggest surprise I had had in my life that day. A sharing Mello is a _caring_ Mello, and that was a rare sight.

On my **fourteenth** birthday I had received a hug by Mello. I was sitting on the carpet of our room, very occupied with a game of Halo; when suddenly I felt two thin, long, and cold arms entangled around my body from behind. I froze at the spot and I didn't dare to move an inch. "Happy birthday Matty" – was whispered into my ear, and before I knew of it, the cold yet warming arms were removed from my body. I had never felt more loved.

It was the fifth of November and there was only three months to my **fifteenth** birthday and even though it was long, every year I was eager for a whole year to know, what Mello's next big gift would be. But the fifth of November was the day everything was ruined for me… Mello walked into our room and slammed the door behind him. I knew he had been at a meeting by Roger's and that sometimes it wasn't the most pleasant meetings and the anger gathered throughout those meetings, would always be released in sometimes the most unpleasant ways by Mello, but this time, shit was real. He was screaming and yelling furiously and it was words I couldn't quite gather out. Before I knew of it, he turned to me, run towards me and he was clinging to me while crying. I had always been a social-awkward-loser and wasn't quite sure of what to do, but I gathered most of my strength and let myself hold him. He cried furiously in my arms, and told me shocking things. That Kira had gotten to L, that Roger wanted Mello to corporate with Near with catching Kira and that everything Mello had worked _so_ hard for, was flushed just like _that_ down the toilet. And then the line came that broke my whole world - "I have to leave Matty"… I don't know where it came from, but suddenly it was _me _who was clinging to Mello, crying my heart out about he couldn't just leave me and that he was my best friend, and if he left me I would have _nothing_ left. I also used the most stupid excuse ever; that he _had_ to stay because he had to give me my birthday gift like he did every year.

Mello started crying even more and kept on apologizing but telling me that he had to leave and that I had to let go. No I didn't have to let go and he didn't have to leave; because I wouldn't be okay with any of those two things. Mello untangled himself from my crushing hug and stood up. I stayed on the floor like the good little dog I was and always had been and awaited my orders. "Stand up Matty", it wasn't an order, it was a plea. I stood up and looked into his eyes through my orange stained glasses. He took my goggles of off me and looked into my eyes. Our noses were now touching each other and I could feel his cold breath on me. Everything about Mello was cold. His voice, his touch, his eyes (those cold ice blue eyes that I could drown in) and his whole being was just cold. But all of him always felt so soothing, so loving and so warm towards me,_ only me_. And then I felt it, it wasn't cold, it wasn't short, it wasn't just an experiment, it was a real _kiss. _Mello was kissing me! And I don't know how I did _not_ attack him right there, and ripped all of his clothes off and touch and roam that sinful body I had lusted for since my first wet dream, but I just stood there tangled and hypnotized by the warm feeling and feelings, I got from that pleasurable kiss of his. He pulled back and whispered in my ear - "I'm sorry I couldn't wait for this to happen on your birthday Matty"… and then he left.

Three months had gone by, three months of loneliness, three months _without_ Mello. I had pretty much isolated myself and was just sitting in agonize waiting for some sort of contact from Mello, so I knew he was still alive. A knock was heard on my door on my **fifteenth** birthday and in came Roger with a letter to me. I took it gratefully and also thanked him for my congratulation. I had expected the letter to be a simple check that everyone got for their birthdays at Wammy's, just another 100 bucks besides your pocket money you got every month, but _no_; it was a letter; a letter from Mello.

_Dear Matty._

_I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry that I couldn't bring you with me and most of all, I am sorry that I couldn't celebrate this day with you. But I'm not sorry for leading you into a world full of drugs, whores, mafias and killings. I'm glad that I left you at Wammy's so you didn't have to see what a monster I have become. I miss you Matty, I miss you so freaking much… but at least I know that you are safe._

_Happy birthday - yours truly_

_Mello._

I hadn't noticed that the paper I held to for dear life was now stained in bittersweet tears. For fucks sake Mello… three _months_; it took you fucking three months to contact me, but at least I knew that you were still alive, and that you were doing pretty good. I held onto that thought and stayed strong. I now just waited for another whole year, and hoped you would somehow contact me again.

One year had gone by. One year without him. I was amazed by myself that I actually had the strength to keep myself in first place of Wammy's (since know that both Mello and Near had left, I was left alone with a bunch of arrogant kids that thought they were_ 'oh so smart and good'_). It wasn't that staying in first place was difficult, cause when you think about it. Mello and Near are and were the smartest kids in the place, they were fucking geniuses and when a little social-loser like me could be in third place behind _them_, well it says something about the whole case and that I wasn't as stupid as I looked like, I just never really used my powers for anything else than finding different ways to kill the final boss in my videogames.

On the **sixteenth** birthday in my life I was happily spending the day in my room (_again_) but this time I had used the day for studying. The final scores were soon coming up again and for some reason I had start loving the part of being number _one_, so I started taking school more serious. I had my nose stuck in my calcareous book and was eagerly studying algebra (even though I was the best). I was getting into my study mode where I blocked all sounds out from the world, when suddenly I was disturbed by the phone…

"This is Matt".

"I love you, happy birthday Matty" -

… and the line went dead. Mello, how could your presence still haunt me even though you were alive, even though I knew you were only now a phone call away. I hacked into Wammy's security system, but in vale, there were no incoming calls for my room. No signs of Mello.

One year had again gone and went. In that year I had succeeded to graduate Wammy's by being number one with the best scores of the school. So since Mello pretty much left everything behind at Wammy's I was now the one they would contact if something happened to Near. Mello would rather die than succeed Near. I had made myself a living as a hacker and had moved to New York (the Big Apple as I myself prefer to call it). I had spent the most of my time their trying to track Mello down, and even though I was probably the best hacker in the whole wild world, I still had difficulty to track Mello down. I had managed to track his mafia down, but I could in no way find the location of their hideout, all I knew was that Mello was in LA. I heard a knock on my door and thought it was my landlord but instead… there stood a tall, all leather clad, ice blue eye colored, bad ass young man by the age of seventeen, who looked like he could kick somebody's ass by the minute. One fucking _sexy _as hell young leather clad young man if I may say so myself. "Happy birthday Matty", oh yes I forgot… it was my **seventeenth** birthday. Instead of wearing his trademark smirk, he wore instead the biggest goofiest grin I had ever seen on Mello's face but that goofy smirk was fast whipped away when he was met by a slap to the face.

_I_ slapped Mello in the face and smacked the door in his face, just to put the icing on the cake. So many things were flooding around in my head at this point;

Mello is standing outside my door after over two years and I'm shocked.

He's sexier and more beautiful than I remember him.

Fuck… I just _slapped_ Mello…

I walked over to my door again and looked through the peephole. Yes it was Mello who stood outside my door, and he was still standing there with the most hurt look on his face that I had _ever_ seen. I took the chance and I flung the door open again and linked myself to him with my arms.

"I'm so sorry Mello! I'm so sorry; I've missed you so much, I'm sorry I hit you! Please don't hate me"!

Begging and crying calls of wishing him not to hate or leave me again was coming from me, and Mello simply just wrapped his arms around me and whispered again – "Happy Birthday Matty". I love him…

I started kissing where I had hit him and left a burning bruise and whispered that I was sorry. I pulled him into my apartment, pushed him into the door and started kissing him hard and passionately. Mello complied and wrapped his arms around my neck. I moved down his body with my arms and made him wrap his long slender legs around my fairly strong waist. When I had him linked to me I carried him into my bedroom. Before I knew of it, I had all his clothes torn of (like I always had dreamed of) and beneath me was a hot, moaning and whimpering blond haired angel, with not a trail of clothing on him, _my_ angel. I myself was still wearing my pants and boots. I started kissing, sucking, licking and just tasting every single inch, every single fiber of that sinful body, and the more I got, the more I wanted. I tore my own clothing of and stuck my fingers into that sinful mouth; that I wished later would do more work than just coating my fingers with saliva.

When I assured myself of my fingers being wet enough, I circled his entrance and kept eye contact with him. He was panting softly and moaning every time I teased his entrance. I wanted to drive him hot and wild. I wanted him to beg for it. Beg for the pain I was about to give him. Beg for the pleasure. Beg for me claiming him as _mine_.

"M...Matty, ah, please just do i...it" – good enough for me. I started thrusting my first finger into Mello, and he didn't look like he was in pain, he just looked very uncomfortable. When I deemed him ready, I thrust my two other fingers into him, I knew I should have worked my way up, but I needed him to feel my pain through the last two years, though this was physical pain. Mello started whimpering and sobbing beneath me, pleading to make the pain go away, even though I knew Mello was quite the masochist. I kissed and licked his collarbone to make him focus on that, while I pulled my fingers out. I was earned with a not so pleased groaning noise from Mello, and I couldn't help but grin.

I made my way up his body again and made him look into my eyes. I kissed him and while we were making out, I could distract him enough so I had time to take my own pants and underwear off. To distract him even more, I started jerking him off and while he was moaning and pleading for more, I thrust hard into him, with just _one_ thrust. This time though, I was earned with a pleading Mello screaming; "stop, it hurts, Matty, p…please stop". And though it hurt like hell to hear the man that I loved so dearly to say those words, I started thrusting in and out of him. I kissed him and whispered – "shh, I know it hurts baby, I'm gonna make you feel good okay"? I looked at him and he merely nodded, while he was still concentrating on focusing on the pleasure and not the pain. After a few test thrust I was earned with lustful and sinful moans of Mello's. "G…god Matty! R..right there, fuck yes there"! The more he pleaded, the more I thrust. The more he begged, the more I gave. The more he screamed of pleasure, the more I moaned. It was like a fucking swing, something always coming back and forward. I kept on ramming into his body, his soul, his everything, and in only seven thrust more, we both met our climaxes.

"Ah, ah, M...Matt I love y…you!" - "Ng…h, Mello"! I panted softly and pulled out of him, cradling him into my chest. "I love you too my love".

Thus was my **seventeenth** birthday spend, a surprise visit of Mello's, losing our virginity's to each other, and a promise of Mello's to never let me go again. And yes of course, more rounds of pleasurable hot love making.

Mello stayed at me that night and told me that the safest thing for me right now, would be to follow him back to LA, and join the mafia. In lesser than a year, I was head of the security system and all the hacking of the biggest mafia in the United States of America. If L just could see me and Mello now.

My **eighteenth** birthday came up and I was pretty surprised to see what Mello had in store for me that day. The day went on like it always did; checking the surveillance cameras, checking for any new signs of Kira and just… mafia stuff. Mello stood up from his work, and pulled me into our shared bedroom. Before I knew of it, he had ripped all of my remaining clothes off of my body, and was pleasuring me orally; everything Mello did in bed was heaven to me. Mello for some reason, loved to bottom. I don't know if it was because it was me, or maybe because he needed someone to be in charge sometimes. We made love like we always did, and for some reason, today was just better than other times. We were lying on my bed panting when – "Mihael Keehl"…

"What"? I asked in confusion.

… "Mihael Keehl… that's my real name Matty". Mello broke the number one rule at Wammy's, never give up your real name, not even to the person you trust the most. I was so glad to know that Mello trusted me enough, to tell me his real name, his beautiful name, _Mihael_.

"Mail Jeevas". Mello looked up at me smiling and kissed me. "Mail Jeevas"… he whispered with passion and love. The rest of the night, moans and pants, which occasionally was switched with groans and screams of "Mihael and/or Mail" were only heard in our and from our bedroom.

One year later… one year later and now I am sitting here in the living room spending my **nineteenth** birthday alone. Mello has locked himself up in our shared bedroom for days by now, and I am _not_ expecting him to come out. After the explosion, Mello had become very self-conscious and was often screaming at night from nightmares of the explosion. He called himself ugly… no Mello, you're _not_. You are not ugly. You're the most beautiful human being, I have ever seen. Though I don't know how he looks after the explosion, since no one is allowed to come near him, let alone _me_.

I'm sitting on the floor with my computers, being the good dog I am, checking the surveillance cameras. Mello is still locked up in our bedroom and I have used the couch the last days as my bed. I'm almost about to fall asleep, when suddenly I hear the doorknob from our bedroom being turned. I turn around and there a sobbing Mello is running out of our bedroom, towards me and into my arms.

"I…I'm so sorry baby, I'm so selfish, happy birthday Mail, I love you so much"! I'm sitting here hugging Mello and telling him that it's _okay_, that I am not mad at him at all, and I only wish to see his beautiful face again. He starts crying even more now, telling me that "_no_ I'm too ugly now". I untangle his arms from my body, and hold him by his shoulders while pushing him a bit away from me. I can see how the fire has burned almost all the left side of his body, and _no _it doesn't make him ugly. Sure his beautiful, blond perfect hair is now chopped at the edges, and that about 35% of his body is burned, but he is still so beautiful, actually the scar just makes him look more badass and sexy. I start kissing the whole left side of his body, and he whimpers by my butterfly kisses. I kiss up to his left ear and whisper, "You're so beautiful, you have no idea of just _how_ much I love you, Mihael", and those are true words, because my love for him can no words describe. It isn't soothing words, it's just the truth. The rest of my birthday I'll be spending with worshiping Mello's body, and that he just allowed me look at him again, makes me the happiest birthday boy in the world.

_I love you Mihael Keehl, my beautiful angel. Thank you for always making me happy and surprise me._

… I can't wait for my **twentieth** birthday next year; I wonder what lies in store.

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><p>God I find my ending so angsty, since we all know that Mail won't be able to experience that day... Happy birthday Mail 'Matt' Jeevas! We all love you! Reviewing is appreciated :) Hope you all liked it!<p> 


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